Laugh or Cry
No really, I have to laugh. What did I just say, about this version of B&B feeling good? Yup. Good feelings gone.
This has happened so many times now that I know something’s up. This goes beyond story. There’s something broken in me. (Oh goody.) I’ve got theories.
Possibility Uno: I have nothing to say about Beauty and the Beast. The Night Mage is kinda B&B-esque, and I did complete a novella in the summer that summed up a lot of what I have to say about beauty. I didn’t decide to write B&B because I had a fantastic idea; I decided to write it because I thought it would be commercially viable. (GREAT IDEA NOT.) So, maybe I’m out?
Possibility Dos: I’ve been chasing the Muse like a rabid hunter for the last couple of years. I’ve been so desperate to write books quickly, I’ve been chasing any half-assed idea until the point of collapse. My fav books, including The Night Mage, all arrived in my head semi-formed when I wasn’t looking for them. It’s like my attention has to be elsewhere for a story (or usually, a couple of characters) to have the courage to poke its wee head out.
(To be honest, I think my first and second theories are both true, therefore combining to form one MEGA TRUTH, and therefore there’s no need for a third option. I know what’s wrong. In ma bones, I know it.)
A Plan of Action
I can’t sit around and mope, nor can I take a break from writing (I’ve tried – it’s impossible), nor can I continue down this Path of Madness. So I’ve come up with a plan. This is my plan. *drumroll*
- To treat myself like an Olympic athlete*, where I train and train and train in preparation for the big event. Except the big event is an idea for a book, and unlike the Olympics the timing is unknown, so really I’m more like a firefighter than an Olympian, but I’m sticking with my original analogy.
- Training is broken down into two components: creativity and craft. Creativity training involves a lot of fast, free-flowing writing. Nae rules, no editing – just words. Craft, on the other hand, is more like deliberate practice, where I write with intention, edit with precision, and study grammar, story, and writers I admire.
- When an idea comes, I trust my gut. If I think it’s got legs, then I go for it. If the legs fall off, then…you win some, lose some. I hope I can still tell when an idea is worth pursuing, and when it has run out of steam. I hope I haven’t broken myself beyond repair.
So, that’s my plan. I need a way of continuing to work every day without hounding down any whiff of a novel like some foaming, manic mutt.
No mutts. That is my new motto.
*I’m watching the Winter Olympics right now. Those figure skaters…damn.